When should you become exclusive when dating

Posted by / 03-Sep-2020 19:28

As uncomfortable as those conversations can be, they are necessary conversations to have with someone you’re about to become intimate with. When someone I had been dating suddenly wasn’t calling as often or as regularly as he had been, instead of talking to him directly about it, or deciding to back off myself and start living my life more so that I wasn’t sitting around waiting for him to call, I would get scared and call him.

Ultimately, if you’re not sure, or have any doubt that it might be too soon, trust your gut. I’d typically come up with some excuse and then call him with something I thought seemed important (which, in hindsight, I’m sure he saw right through).

There are so many different views on when it’s ok and not ok to be intimate with someone.

While we all know the thrill of that intense chemistry when you feel like you just can’t stop yourself from going there with him, the reality is that this kind of chemistry tends to fizzle out all too soon leaving in its wake your broken heart and regret that you got intimately involved far too soon.

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So here’s my list for you of what I consider to be the top five biggest dating mistakes. At the time, I would have thought that dating more than one person at the same time was just downright slutty.

Because I had no idea how much heartbreak and misery I could have saved myself if someone had only told me what huge mistakes I was making by doing some of the these things, I'm going to tell you about the huge mistakes you are making (and we all make).

Make sure that you are looking for an equal, a partner in a relationship, not a father figure or role model.

When I think about all the times I skirted around the issues that would come up, the number of occasions where I remained silent, waiting, watching, hoping and waiting some more to see what he was thinking, where this was all going, wondering whether he would choose me in the end, I can clearly see now just how much I contributed to my own relationship failures.

What I finally figured out was that this really was about me.

And my own lack of self-esteem and confidence that came from deep inside me.

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And no, you’re not using the others, because you never know when the guy you’re not all that into throws you for a loop and surprises you with all he has to offer you.