What to write in online dating
Mentioning cats is fine, but mention “my cats” and you’re a weirdo.
The data shows that lesbians appreciate nice legs, gay men prize nice arms, and straight women and men are looking for flat stomachs above all else.
Users skim profiles looking for a reason to send a message or dismiss (hint: do not mention your mom or exes).
Call it the algorithm method: Working with data crunchers at the dating sites, we put together 25 tips for writing the perfect profile, selecting the right photo, and really understanding your audience.
We even scoured the top 400 most popular Ok Cupid profiles—the hottest people on the site in ten US cities—to see what their profile pics could tell the rest of us about attracting a date.
We couldn’t have done any of this without the help of the data maestros at Match and Ok Cupid: Christian Rudder, cofounder and president of Ok Cupid, and Jim Talbott, director of consumer insights at
Zohar Lazar Buried in all that data were some surprising facts about how to optimize your dating profile.We analyzed the 1,000 most popular words on both men and women’s profiles, tabulated the most popular movies and TV shows, and crunched stats on what people consider their best feature vs.what features their potential dates are attracted to.These guys and their data teams ran queries of all kinds and pulled spreadsheet after spreadsheet of information to try and answer our strange questions.We also needed Ok Cupid to get permission from their users to enable us to publish those popular profile pics.
The tips got pretty specific in some cases: It’s 28 percent better for a male to refer to females as women rather than girls, and men who use “whom” get 31 percent more contacts from the opposite sex.