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He knows she's not as hot as the last girl he dated, but that's okay. When you read other people's profiles, don't make assumptions or rule them out because of one thing they wrote.You can fall in love with a guy who wrote that he likes Madonna, but you can't fall in love with a guy who isn't kind."5. Gottlieb: "In cities where you find a lot of really ambitious, Type A, driven people, like in NYC and L.Whether it's with men or sweaters…if you just think you have unlimited options for the rest of your life, of course you'll keep looking, who wouldn't? Women gave me 300 reasons they wouldn't go on a second date with a guy, and men gave 3.When guys are ready for that stage of life, they find someone who is good enough that they're totally in love with—but that person may not seem to the outside world to be as appealing in superficial ways—maybe she's not as accomplished or funny as the last girl. Guys don't sit and micro-analyze a woman the way a woman would with a man. Gottlieb: "With online dating, we judge based on objective criteria (height, sports nut), rather than subjective (attraction), which you can't judge until you meet the person. We sympathize, but technology keeps improving and we have to keep up, too.
"I don't want the takeaway to be, pick the next guy off of and marry him.Women take Samantha's message as really empowering. If you don't want to be alone—maybe Samantha does—that's a dangerous message."7. Gottlieb: "We say, I'm a writer, but he doesn't read! I'm creative.' But people can be creative in different ways, and the fact that he doesn't read the same books that you do, well, maybe he wants someone who he can talk about the baseball game with but you're not that person. You're not going to share every single interest, and that's okay. The shared interest should be, Do we want the same things out of life?
It was a humbling and shocking experience to read Lori Gottlieb's new book, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Gottlieb is a single mother who, at 37, wanted a biological child and had one on her own.