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This puts me in a very awkward position because I’m not a mean person but sometimes I have to just delete interactions with people that I never talked to in order not to get him false hope.

He had grown tired of letting me pretend, I realized.There was something about watching a black boy murdered from the comfort of my home that made me want to go out and love a black man as hard as I could, as though somehow it could resurrect the child in him.I started dating my first official black boyfriend, a neuroscientist, shortly after.It was only a month later that it struck me that it was over.After nine months, my black savior, the neuroscientist, had broken up with me and left me with no words to cry over.

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She was looking to me for advice on raising a fatherless child, considering my firsthand experience. It was like that for a while—dismissing every suitor who resembled my father.